Cool Mum Super Dad

Motivational Session with Secondary Students @ Putrajaya

Jamilah Samian — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 05:10:46 +0000

Quick Update: Jamilah Samian held a motivational training session with almost 100 secondary students at Putrajaya on 21st August 2010.

Special thanks to Dato’ Yeow Chin Kiong and wife Datin Amy Tan plus Puan Shahirah Shahudin of Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam, Putrajaya.

This entry to be updated with more details of the program when and if time permits, God willing.

The ABCs of Achieving Your Dreams: Back To Basics

Jamilah Samian — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 07:05:50 +0000

Surfing through the Internet this afternoon, I stumbled upon Wanda Carter’s inspirational words of wisdom below. As my eyes ran over the words, I was like “WOW! Just what I needed to keep going today!” The ideas aren’t new, but calling it ABCs is a wonderful reminder that if we were to really realize our dreams, it’s back to the basics. As with all precious quotes I had the privilege of discovering, I had it printed and pasted in my QUOTABLE QUOTES book.

To Achieve Your Dreams Remember Your ABCs
Copyright 1991 By Wanda Hope Carter

Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits
Believe in yourself
Consider things from every angle
Don’t give up and don’t give in
Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
Family and Friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches
Give more than you planned to
Hang on to your dreams
Ignore those who try to discourage you
Just do it
Keep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier
Love yourself first and foremost
Make it happen
Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.
Open your eyes and see things as they really are
Practice makes perfect
Quitters never win and winners never quit
Read study and learn about everything important in life
Stop procrastinating
Take control of your own destiny
Understand yourself in order to understand others
Visualize it
Want it more than anything
Xccelerate your efforts
You are unique of all God’s creations nothing can replace you
Zero in on your target and go for it!

‘Power of One’ at the International Islamic University

Jamilah Samian — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 07:38:45 +0000

MPH called a few days ago to inquire if I could give a motivational talk to a group of students at the International Islamic University (IIU) at Gombak today and I said Yes. I was told I would be speaking to international students. Minutes after I arrived however, my gracious hosts informed me that instead of students, my audience would be lecturers. As one of them said: “We need to motivate our students and to do that, we need to be motivated, too!”

My mind raced for a few minutes because as any trainer will tell you, training materials are made to fit the audience. I had been preparing material for students and I soon discovered as I entered the venue that my audience was mature lecturers ranging from their thirties onwards.

No trainer worth her salt would give up at the last minute. One of the things I learnt when I became a Certified Professional Trainer was “always be prepared as things often don’t go as planned”. Somehow, somewhere, miscommunication had taken place. I had a roomful of eager adults and perform I must. I’m not sure if I could have done this years ago, but as I went through the materials with them, I did quite a bit of adjusting in terms of delivery and content. The audience, of course, didn’t notice and was both responsive and receptive. It was after all an interactive session as it should be.

The purpose of the talk was threefold:

1) self-reflection of your life journey

2) planning for the future

3) ultimately it’s about you as a person giving your best (hence the theme ‘Power of One’)

Lesson is, as a speaker you must always keep your cool. When you are calm, it helps you to think. You’ll be surprised at what you can do under these circumstances. The spotlight should be on the audience. They always deserve your best. A speaker must be flexible, able to think on her feet, be gracious to accept and deal with changes and keep a smile no matter what. In the end, it was a good session and I could tell the ladies and gentlemen enjoyed it as they hung around, asking questions. As for me, I had this light and fulfilled feeling about it and am really looking forward to my next speaking engagement later this month!

Trainer’s High

Jamilah Samian — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 06:05:23 +0000

Last weekend’s motivational session at SMK Lambor Kiri, Bota, Perak was quite a revelation. I was more than a bit anxious as 500 students (the entire school) were expected (the organisers later reduced it to less than 300). Perhaps it was the eagerness of the participants — by the time I took over the mike I was already on a roll. The kids warmed up pretty quickly. Their response and enthusiasm were indeed infectious. As for me, I was having so much fun I forgot myself. This must be what they call “trainer’s high”. You get so emotionally connected with your audience you don’t feel the time fly by. As Cikgu Azhar (one of the teachers/organisers) said, “Rasa cepat betul masa berlalu.” Well, you don’t feel the time when you’re having fun, do you?

THANK YOU Cikgu Azhar Radizuan and Puan Siti Hawa Jaafar for making it possible.

Special thanks too to my home team Ahmad Fakhri Hamzah, Ahmad Salahuddin, Alia Nadhirah and Ahmad Sirajuddin. I’ll see to it that each of your valuable feedback is given due consideration.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING!”

Jamilah Samian — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 07:54:48 +0000

By Jamilah Samian

“You don’t know what you’re doing!” the man spat the words out just as I strode into the room. Taken aback, I pulled a chair and sat down, pretending not to hear what he just said. I was at the back of the room, a few metres away from him. He stood up and left in a huff, leaving the lady before him speechless.

I walked up to the lady. She was my son’s teacher, someone I knew quite well. It was Report Card Pick-Up Day. That’s how I ended up climbing four flights of stairs to be at my son’s classroom. My friend the teacher burst into tears the moment I reached out to hug her. The man, it turned out, was infuriated with certain decisions she had made with respect to his daughter.

What I witnessed at school left me feeling disturbed that morning. I remembered my late father-in-law, a school teacher. Once, I made the mistake of saying to him, “Apak (Dad), I guess it’s easy for you, teaching Primary One. After all, the stuff is all the same year in year out.” To which he retorted, “The stuff is the same, but the kids are not!”

How right he was! Kids are different. They do have different mindsets, inclinations, intelligences, ways of learning – areas which have been analysed, discussed and dissected by so many experts rather exhaustively. I don’t wish to elaborate on that.

But the kind of ‘different’ I want to talk about is in terms of behaviour.

No matter how godly your kids are at home, they may not be angels at school. It’s indeed entirely possible for a child to be ‘perfect’ at home and to be caught in a disciplinary incident in school. I’m not proud to admit it but yes, there have been instances my own kids have been caught red-handed doing things I never thought they would do. I must say though that these incidences are rare and far between, thank God. As much as I want to trust my kids, I do know that at times their sense of mischief gets the better of them and they act against their better judgement.

I see my kids’ teachers as a kind of surrogate parents. Which is why when I get to see them I tell them three things:

1. “Thank you for all the time, effort and concern you’ve put into my child.”

2. “Please forgive my child for everything he/she has done.”

3. “Please bear with him/her. Tegurlah mana yang patut (Correct him/her when you need to).”

Am I overdoing it? Maybe.

But then again, it’s easy for us to think: “It’s their job and they’re paid for it.”

Let me ask you: Do you have any idea what a thankless task teaching is? It’s hard enough to raise a few kids at home, dealing with their quirks, moods, fights, and ever-changing attitudes like “I’m-growing-up-so-why-can’t-I-do-it-my-way?” thingies, just to name a few. Imagine having thirty, forty kids the entire day, stuck in a room, giving instructions at the top of your voice, trying to gain attention from morning till evening, day in day out, year in year out.

To be honest, I know a number of my kids’ teachers. They have my phone number, I have theirs. They know they can pick up the phone and spill their frustrations with my kids whenever they need to. And I know I can call them if I have any concern along those lines. We have a mutual understanding, you see, that we share the common responsibility of raising my kids, to bring out the best in them.

These teachers are no strangers to me. In fact, they are some of the people who are dearest to my heart, because of their commitment, of what they have done and are still doing to my kids. I can name some of them right here: Teacher Rasyidah, Ustaz Muallimin, Ustaz Zubir, Teacher Fatin, Ustaz Harmizi, Teacher Zubaidah, Puan Siti Zaiton, to name several. They have punished my kids when they needed to. They have praised my kids when they deserved to be recognised for their good deeds and achievement.

It’s impossible of course for me to always keep in touch with every one of my kids’ teachers, but why shouldn’t I make an effort to know them?

If you find your GRUDGE LIST for your child’s teacher growing longer and longer by the day although you have never met her in person, never thanked her personally, never complemented her for all the good things she had done to your child, do yourself a favour. Tear the list into shreds. Throw it away for good. Pick up the phone. Call the teacher and thank her. Right now.

Like I said, you never know what your child is up to behind your back.

Are You A Bad Parent?

Jamilah Samian — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 02:44:41 +0000

(as published in ParenThots, The Star Online, 5 July 2010)

Is all the guilt normal or are you really a bad parent?

By BRIGITTE ROZARIO

Are you a bad parent because you once lost your child in the shopping mall? Or are you a bad parent for letting your child skip school because she was at a party the night before? How about for not putting your son in a child car seat?

These are very real scenarios. We are familiar with them because they don’t just happen to “someone else” or some “terrible” parent we hear about; these scenarios happen to every day parents trying to do their best for their children.

Jamilah Samian, certified professional trainer and author of Cool Mum Super Dad and Cool Boys Super Sons, says not only are these scenarios common but they are forgiveable.

“In fact, to be honest, I’ve ‘committed’ all of those during the more than 25 years I have been a parent!” admits Jamilah.

“I did lose my child in the shopping mall! I’m not proud of it but it happens to the best of parents and the worst of parents – it can happen to anybody.

Jamilah: ‘It doesn’t just happen to ‘other’ parents.’

“It doesn’t just happen to ‘other’ parents. It just takes a moment of not paying attention to them. Sometimes you just get distracted and you can lose them. It’s very harrowing. What I have learnt is never to bring young kids along during sales or peak hours when there’s bound to be a huge crowd around you.”

Crossing the line

If losing your child is a forgiveable offence, and in fact very normal, how then do you define a bad parent?

“The broadest definition is someone who has a habit of hurting their child INTENTIONALLY (in words and actions) and REGULARLY. Key words – intentionally and regularly.

“Most of us don’t fit into this description. We may do something wrong by and by, and we may act in a not-so-gracious manner, but that doesn’t make us ‘bad’ parents. We are guilty of bad choices, bad actions, but we are not bad parents per se,” says Jamilah.

She explains that parents will realise when they have crossed the line, albeit not always at the moment. On reflection, parents can tell if and when they have indeed crossed the line or gone too far.

She recommends parents spend a bit of time before going to bed reflecting on their actions throughout the day and deciding to be better parents the next day.

“If you think you have done something wrong, just ask for forgiveness, if not immediately, then before you go to bed. Just say, ‘Please forgive me for everything I have done, and if I have hurt you in any way.’ Kids also need to know how to deal with this, what to do if you have acted badly. The best way to erase a bad deed is to do a good deed. And to set it in your heart never to repeat the bad deed,” suggests Jamilah.

No-no’s

Outlining some of the no-no’s, Jamilah says it is the more subjective things that are harder to pin-point and control.

“Being over-possessive – Certainly you need to adjust the amount of freedom your child has as he grows up. A little child would definitely need to be supervised at all times. A teenager much less so; it’s a different kind of supervision … you still need to keep tabs on what they’re doing, though you may not necessarily be physically there. You need to supervise what they do on the Net, on Facebook, on Friendster and Twitter. They may not like it, but to be popular is not our objective. As parents, we do what we need to do because that’s the right thing to do.

“Pushing your child – Sometimes you get lucky and you have a child who just pushes himself to perform in everything. But this is rare because there are certain things that kids need to do but hate doing. Lots of kids hate school. So we can’t help but push them … but you should know your child well enough to know how much to push. There must be give and take, an understanding between you and your child, which areas he must do and leave the rest for him to decide, as much as possible. By the time he’s in Form 4/Form 5, it should very much be a matter of personal preferences.

“Overindulging – This is related to what we call a ‘sense of entitlement’. This phrase – ‘sense of entitlement’ is often portrayed as something negative. But I see two parts in this – one is positive and the other is negative.

“Positive – When it pushes you to be more assertive. This is the kind of attitude that makes you ask questions in class or at the doctor’s or the restaurant (because your child feels he is ‘entitled’ to an explanation from the teacher, doctor etc …)

“Negative – When you have an attitude that the world owes you a living. Thinking that you’re so special you have to be given priority or considered for everything … the family car, the best toys and the best holidays. If they start complaining when they don’t get them, you have a problem there …. Your kid is bound for disaster. It’s not a kind world out there.

“There are two extremes – being overindulgent and being too strict. Sometimes we do them both unintentionally.”

According to Jamilah, a parent can behave badly without being a bad parent. There is a need to distinguish between the behaviour and the person. Once you keep repeating the same mistakes or bad behaviour then you would have crossed the line especially if you want to hurt your child.

“We always want the best for our children and sometimes that gets us into trouble as well.”

Dealing with guilt

Guilt, she adds, is not necessarily a bad thing as it is an underestimated motivator. According to Jamilah, dissatisfaction with ourselves can push us to become better and better person(s), as opposed to being complacent. Yet, she warns that “too much guilt” can result in the parent overindulging the child.

“You can’t correct a wrong with another wrong. You have to be kind to yourself because guilt can be a heavy burden to carry to the point that it hinders you from living effectively as a parent and as a human being.

“Just stop doing the wrong thing, ask for forgiveness, commit to finding a more effective way … and start anew the next day.

“How to know that we’re doing something wrong? As parents, you’re the one running your household. You know what’s happening in your home. The onus is on you to continually educate/enlighten yourself about parenting, gain as much knowledge as possible about child development by reading and sharing with other parents. If something is bothering you, ask. It doesn’t matter if your parents have done it … or you have been doing it for the past 30 years … if it’s wrong, it’s wrong.”

Responsible parents always go to bed every night wondering if they have done the best, she explains.

“You know you are never perfect. There is no such thing as the perfect parent. You may have perfect intentions, but you are never perfect. You keep on trying to improve yourself.

“If you feel that other parents or even your parents and grandparents have done a better job than you then why not try to follow their good example. I think, at the end of the day, you know yourself and your own situation, and it’s subjective. If you find that some other parents seem to be doing better than you in terms of their relationship then you should ask what is he or she doing right? In that sense, comparing yourself to others is not a bad thing.

“But certainly when it comes to comparing academic results, I stop short at that. That’s not something I would want to compare because each child is different. And you can’t say the other person is a better parent just because their child does well in exams.”

As for disapproving looks or unwanted and unsolicited advice from other parents and singles or even your own parents and grandparents, Jamilah says:

“Stick to your guns if you know you are doing the right thing. Don’t let others make you feel like a bad parent. You are the one who understands your position better.

“Take it with a pinch of salt. Everybody has their own opinion. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Commenting on bad habits like drinking, smoking, swearing and bad-mouthing in front of the kids, Jamilah says these should be curbed.

According to her, it goes without saying that parents should try to curb their own bad habits because they are setting an example for their children. Kids watch you. It’s not so much what you say as what you do. And, they are going to follow you – if not everything, then what you do.

Sometimes it’s very subtle things – the way you respond when you’re angry or upset; how you deal with conflict in uncomfortable situations.

These are the things they will pick up especially if you are the main role model for them.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, you know yourself best and you are the one who knows your child best.

“You never know if you have done the right thing. Just move on and if you truly feel that you have done something wrong then just ask for forgiveness from the child. Talk it out with the child. Nothing wrong with that. I prefer to be open. Treat it like a learning experience. For all you know, they would have forgotten about it. We adults tend to dwell on such things and kids just move on,” advises Jamilah.

“There’ll never be a perfect day; a day is perfect with all the imperfections; that’s because we’re human. But we keep on trying to improve ourselves.”

Should Children Earn Their Pocket Money?

Jamilah Samian — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 02:40:18 +0000

by Brigitte Rozario

(as published in ParenThots, The Star Online, Friday, 25 June 2010)

Should children have to earn pocket money by doing chores around the house? Some argue that making children earn their pocket money makes them more responsible. Others say certain chores should be done regardless of the pocket money given.

Let’s see what a professional trainer/author and a developmental psychologist have to say about this.

Jamilah Samian

Jamilah Samian, certified professional trainer and author of Cool Mum Super Dad and Cool Boys Super Sons:

“I give my children pocket money on a daily basis because although the school provides food it’s not enough for them. There is a cafe in the school where they can buy food.

For me, when it comes to giving them housework it depends on what kind of housework. Some things like washing the dishes or cleaning their own room are things they have to do and they are not going to get paid for doing that. That is expected of them.

However, if they do something extra like teaching other young children then maybe I might give them some extra reward. When my children reach secondary school, they have to do some voluntary work. So, I might pay them a very minimal amount of money based on the effort. Part of it is voluntary but maybe later I might give them a little bit just as additional pocket money.

It’s just a token sum and it’s only towards the end of their voluntary work. I don’t want them to do it because of the money.

Apart from that I don’t give them pocket money per se. I am quite strict about that. If you want something, you have to earn it.

If they want to buy a toy, they have to save up the pocket money that I give them every day.

There is a difference between their needs and wants. Their needs are something we parents provide. The wants are something they should earn themselves.

I don’t give them pocket money during the school holidays. I don’t see why I need to give them pocket money then when everything is provided for.”

Elaine Yong

Elaine Yong, developmental psychologist and Sunway University College lecturer:

“I think to a certain degree the bare minimum is necessary. They need money for recess time at school. But if they want extra, that’s when I would get them to earn it.

If they want to buy a toy or a game, then I would ask them to earn the money to buy that because then it gives them an idea of what it takes to save the money and that it’s not easily earned and they learn the value of money. By making them earn it, you would also be teaching them how to save up to make that big purchase.

They can earn the money by doing chores they don’t already do regularly. Things like cleaning their room are basic things that they are already responsible for so those don’t count. To earn money it should be for doing additional chores which are usually not done.

You can start practising this from the time they’re in primary school because they understand from then and they would have been buying things from the canteen at this age. So, they would understand the value of money. At any earlier age, such as preschoolers, they are just beginning to understand that you need to use money in order to buy things.”

Discipline Dilemma

Jamilah Samian — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 14:56:44 +0000

Jamilah Samian was in Bakti Siti Hasmah, Taman Tun Dr Ismail today to present the above topic.

JUST JAPAN

Jamilah Samian — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 13:36:19 +0000

By Jamilah Samian

If you need a break from the kids and the kids need a break from you…

and you have chosen Japan as your destination, then this post is for you.

(Time and duration of visit: April 2010 i.e. two weeks at winter’s end as this was when the cherry blossoms burst into full bloom.)

The first time I set foot on Japanese soil, I was travelling solo enroute to Kuala Lumpur from the United States in September 1984. I remember distinctly a Narita Airport staff bowing again and again to a foreigner voicing out his annoyance in a loud voice. Now I sit on an express bus bound for the suburbs of Tokyo and the same image unfolded again. This time, it was a ground staff bowing again and again to bid us passengers goodbye as the bus slowly gathered speed. Some images stay with you for life. If there was one thing that hasn’t changed over the years, it’s the Japanese and their ultra polite manners! In the bus, a lady accidentally brushed her bag against my leg. When I turned to look, she bowed and mumbled her apology a few times.

After a couple of nights at Syed Hussain Taha’s residence, Ahmad Fakhri and I were ready to explore Japan on our own. We made our way to the train station only to discover that we had missed the 10.30am Hikari Express bound for Shin-Osaka! We had misread the ticket and mistook the departure time as arrival time instead. Buying a brand new ticket for a ride on the shinkansen (bullet train) would have easily cost us a hefty RM1000. But since we had purchased Japan Railway (JR) passes in Malaysia, all we had to do was to take whichever subsequent train that still had seats available. (Note: JR passes allow unlimited travel by shinkansen for a specific timeframe. It’s only available for sale outside of Japan. You can’t purchase JR passes in Japan itself.)

The Stupendously Sleek Shinkansen

Shinkansen: Super Fast, Safe and Sleek

I fell instantly in love with the shinkansen on my first ride ever! And why not? The shinkansen is super fast, safe and sleek. The Tokaido and Sanyo Shinkansen, for instance, are reputed to have a maximum operating speed of 300km/hr. It’s just like taking a flight but only much better as it offers more leg room and definitely air-sickness-free to boot. Best of all was the precision of the whole railway system. Shinkansens work by the second, making literally brief stopovers at towns and cities between major stops. If a shinkansen is a minute late, the announcement console will tell you exactly what time it’s arriving.

You can’t afford to get the time mixed up and board the wrong train as shinkansens leave barely minutes after a stop. You won’t have time to hop off. As soon as I sat down on the way to Osaka, a German national said he got the same seat as mine. Upon checking, we found that he was meant to board the next shinkansen, which was due only four minutes later! Fortunately, there were a few vacant seats in the train. He settled on one and hopped off at the next stop. Had the train been full, he’d have to make do with sitting on the floor. Not a pleasant thought as the train hurtled forward towards the next destination. My ears popped a bit as we zoomed past dainty residences.

River Cruise in Osaka

Osaka

In Osaka we took the river cruise and were bowled over by the endless stream of cherry blossoms (hanami). The Japanese are perpetually in love with these elegant blooms, having picnics at Ueno Park right under its shadows day and night. The Japanese speak with a pleasant, lilting tone. Our cruise captain who doubled up as tourist guide made a perfect running commentary as our boat made its way, never mind if we couldn’t understand a single word he said.

After a visit to the Historical Museum, we went searching for the Islamic Centre there. Unfortunately, even after we followed the instructions given in the Net, we couldn’t locate it. The streets were deserted and the few people we encountered either didn’t speak a word of English or didn’t have the slightest inkling where it was. By then it was late afternoon, we were famished and exhausted but decided to give it another go. Our prayers were answered! A Bangladeshi Muslim lady appeared by the corner, pushing her little boy in a pram. She greeted us with the salaam, introduced herself as Sonifa Shameen and insisted we have a meal at her home. Her husband was taking a doctoral program at the University of Osaka. We trudged along a hilly terrain for another 45 minutes and up four flights of stairs. Sonifa prepared a hearty meal of noodles and beef sauce as we performed our prayers. It was the most delicious meal we feasted on that day. Thank you, Sonifa!

Tokyo Grand Mosque

Hiroshima

An atomic bomb was dropped on the city of Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 almost directly on top of the Hiroshima Prefectural Industrial Promotion Hall, a dome-like structure. As an effort to promote peace, the dome, now known as the A-Dome (Atomic Dome) had been turned into a Peace Memorial.

People spoke in hushed voices here. An air of solemnity prevailed. The memorial showcased charred remains of toes, clothes, cooking utensils and numerous other items salvaged from the bombing. Giant screens continuously replayed reconstructions of the moments leading to, and after the bombing. The still images were equally compelling. They told of countless people who staggered around in a daze, in unimaginable agony as pieces of flesh from burnt skin hang loosely from their faces and limbs. The centre also acknowledged the crucial part Japan played in the war; how it, too, caused “incalculable suffering to numerous others in the countries it dominated for years” (including then Malaya). I stared at the images of destruction, distress and pain. They filled me with dread. I recalled the horror stories my mum had related to me over and over and over again … how she and her family had suffered and lived in fear during the Japanese occupation for lack of food and safety, and denied of proper schooling.

We ended the shinkansen ride from Hiroshima with a sprint. The connecting shinkansen was to leave in exactly 6 minutes in another track. This time, however, all the signs around us were in Japanese and not one official was in sight. We made a dash several metres away and breathed a sigh of relief when we caught sight of a signboard that directed us to the next shinkansen.

Cherry Blossoms Galore

Kyoto

Mika, our travel agent, had urged us to visit as many temples as possible in Kyoto. It was only when we saw the first temple that we understood why. Temples are where the gardens were built by the shoguns in premodern Japan. But in each temple ground, the temple proper is actually sited in a tiny area surrounded by a sprawling Japanese garden. Extremely well-kept, they are not particularly colourful, but the clever play of hues of green is wonderfully soothing and stunning. I wish I could sit there all day and soak it all in. Kyoto was breath-taking. We paid a visit to the Gion Centre and witnessed a puppet show, one of several performances that evening. Desperate for halal food, we later found Turkish and Pakistani restaurants.

BONUS NOTES

Amazingly Organized

Not only is Japan technologically advanced, it’s superbly organized. Both the light rail transit and bus systems are reliable. Precision is a daily mantra for the Japanese. In Kyoto you could tell which bus was approaching next by checking the console erected at the bus-stop. Restaurants are small but they have a place for everything and everything is in its place. Toilet seats are automatically warmed, bidets and sprays are automatic. Everything works at the touch of a button.

Innovation: Water from the tap is recycled to flush the toilet

Weather Wise

Don’t be tricked by Japanese sunshine! It can be really cold despite a sunny day.

Places to Visit

It would take months on end literally to visit all of them! We took almost an entire day walking on the grounds of the Imperial Palace alone. Include at least one castle in your itinerary. The Japanese seem to have a fondness of their country. The majority of the people we saw at the tourist spots were Japanese themselves. By and large, the majority of them seemed relatively traditional and conservative.

Street Safety

I was surprised to see the locals, especially the ladies, riding along lonely roads on bikes at late hours (after 10p.m.) with their handbags propped into their bikes’ front baskets. This led me to presume that the place was safe, at least from bag snatchers. The Japanese are very much into fashion. Whole facades of fashionable names like Louis Vuitton and Bvlgari lined certain quarters of the streets.

What I Didn’t Like

The astronomical cost of living!

Special Thanks …

… to Syed Hussain Taha and Sharifah Salwa and their wonderful brood: Sasha, Hafidz and Harith for welcoming us into their home in Tokyo.

Final Word

Should you have a tourist guide or find your own way in Japan? If you are adventurous like us, don’t mind getting lost, willing to ask questions, don’t fret when you can’t find what you’re looking for and are prepared to use sign language whenever you have to, it’s worthwhile to explore the country on your own. The best thing about doing it yourself is the flexibility. You aren’t tied to a fixed schedule and other people’s agenda. You decide your own pace and where exactly you want to go. Oh, one more thing. You have to be fit because you need to walk a lot for hours on end. If you are the type who easily gets anxious in strange places and easily panic when things don’t turn out the way you expect them to, it’s best that you travel in a group with a tourist guide in tow. Otherwise, your long-awaited holiday might end up turning into a nightmare.

Read Malaysia 2010

Jamilah Samian — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 09:48:29 +0000

Jamilah Samian delivered a talk entitled ‘Discipline Dilemma’ on 4th June 2010 during the event above.