by Brigitte Rozario
Read source article at: https://thotsntots.com/making-leaders-out-of-parents/
Parents need to lead the way, not just in what they say but also in what they do. You are your children’s first role models and for the first few years of their life at least, they will spend time trying to be like you and doing what you do.
“What’s needed is a roadmap to increase the likelihood of success. It is smarter to lead children in a conscious, deliberate way, so that your children become outstanding adults who contribute thoughts and ideas, and become leaders in their respective fields,” says author and trainer Jamilah Samian.
She and her husband, Ahmad Fakhri, work with children and parents via talks and training. They have found that many children and youths lack a clear purpose in life. “It shows in the lack of motivation, delinquency and individualism. A void exists in their lives; they don’t know what they’re here for. To become gifts for humanity and to blossom as agents for positive change, children need adults who can lead, guide and inspire them,” says Jamilah.
While it is not easy being a leader in the family, Jamilah believes it can be done. You need sensitivity, balance, respect, humour, commitment, and the ability to laugh at yourself when you slip up. You must be aware of your values and what makes you happy because being happy is a habit that needs to be passed on to children as our future leaders, she adds.
Parents can lead by example by:
- Showing respect for others, especially parents and grandparents. Good leaders are inspired by a genuine concern for others, especially those who have cared for, nurtured and raised them.
- Training your child to think logically. The ability to reason, think logically, and see and understand the relationship between actions and consequences is a trademark of leaders.
- Developing a love for problem-solving. Leaders focus on solving problems to help themselves and others.
- Handling emotions well. Misplaced anger can have a negative, long-lasting impact on relationships.
- Encouraging your child to be productive. Leaders are highly productive. Help your child find novel ways to destress, capture complex information, and be entertained all at the same time, thereby increasing productivity.
Jamilah and Ahmad recently launched their latest book, Leadership in Parenting. According to Jamilah, the book presents the idea of raising children with a clear, strong purpose and to raise them as future leaders, based on the Hierarchy of Successful Parenting Leadership Model. The model offers five levels of parenting functions: Builder, Provider, Connector, Developer, and Inspirer. Failure to fulfil these functions may result in children who are individualistic, demotivated, delinquent, or those who have misguided personalities, explains Jamilah.
“The highest level you can achieve as a parent is as an Inspirer (Level 5). Every single day, think how you can get your son or daughter to be excited to give their best in their area of expertise and to become outstanding, not for personal recognition, praise or awards, but sincerely so that they make a difference to their family, community and the world,” says Jamilah.
This is her fifth book; the previous ones are Cool Mum Super Dad, Cool Boys Super Sons, Parenting Gen Y & Z, and The Kindness Miracle. Her books can be found at http://coolmumsuperdad.com.
The idea for this book came about several years ago when she and Ahmad were on a long train ride from Oxford to Sheffield, where they were going to present a workshop. Having spent years with parents from diverse backgrounds, the couple pondered on what they thought was missing for many parents.
“Parents are so caught up with the daily challenges of raising children that they can hardly envisage the long-term purpose of parenting. This is understandable since for most parents, the journey is overwhelming; you just want to survive each day before the next one begins,” says Jamilah.
The book features an article by Ahmad titled “The Successful Parenting Leadership Model: A Father’s Perspective”. Jamilah says that while she is the writer of most of the book, many of the ideas are the product of their combined thoughts and efforts.
“As parents, Ahmad and I have evolved over the years. We have learned what works better and what doesn’t. Readers of my first book, Cool Mum Super Dad know I struggled a lot as a new parent, dealing with the children’s growing up years, trying to make sense of life as a woman, wife and mother.
“To a large degree, Ahmad and I do play complementary roles as parents and in our professional lives. Ahmad understands and fully supports my deep interest in writing. Together, we continue to mentor and coach parents in our many seminars and workshops. We also help parents and other adults who approach us privately. Raising a family can be a peculiar thing. Most people would not want to share their personal issues in public.
“I often hear a mother or father saying that they’re worried because their parenting style is different from that of their spouse’s. Actually, it’s unlikely for a wife and husband to have the same parenting style since they were raised in different families. No matter how similar the styles are, there are bound to be differences. What’s important is to have shared goals as parents, to know where you’re heading. Once you’re clear on this, you’ll make the effort to pave the way to get there and you will become more accepting of your own strengths and shortcomings,” explains Jamilah.
She believes parents will find the book handy as it is full of real stories, examples and practical strategies. It will be helpful to those who wish to expand their capacity to lead their children better. She also recommends it for those about to get married, newlyweds, parents with young children or teenagers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers and educators.