Your marriage is the foundation upon which your family is built. The more love there is between Mommy and Daddy, the more secure and stable your child feels.
Three simple things would go a long way to maintain a loving relationship that lasts with your spouse:
1. Be nice.
Be gentle. Be kind. Watch the tone of your voice as you speak to your spouse. Does it make him or her feel welcome? Is there any tinge of sarcasm? Imagine a role reversal: How would you feel if he or she speaks to you that way? Everyday, recall two things that you consider are really special about your spouse and make him or her the person you fell in love with in the first place. You don’t lose anything by being nice. In fact, you gain your spouse’s respect and affection. Look for the things that your spouse does right instead of the things that annoy you.
2. Do not take your spouse for granted.
Are you excited to see your spouse at the end of the day just as you were excited to see him or her before you two were married? Simple gestures like giving your spouse a hug or a peck on the cheek or sincerely complimenting him or her in front of the kids speak volumes on the state of your marriage to your children. If you are the mother, for example, say something like, “Do you know why your Dad is the best husband/father on earth?” or “Daddy made my day today because he peeled the onions while I cleaned the prawns!” Your child would also love to hear how you two met and got married and finally had him. It’s such an honour for your child to know that he’s the product of the two most special people in his life!
3. Spend time with each other.
Once children enter the scene, the time between husband and wife is very limited. For many couples, it’s a challenge to spend some time together at the end of the day. Either one parent or both may be too exhausted or someone needs help with homework. But you and your spouse must make it up by spending extra time when you know your kids need you the least. If you have school going children, that may be the last day of school, for instance, when the kids had had a long week and just want to put their feet up. If you have a little child, you could arrange for a reliable babysitter so the two of you could have a little getaway every now and then. Have a candlelit dinner for two or just talk and enjoy each other’s presence!