Photo by Conor Keller on Flickr
TOPIC: RAISING A TWO-AND-A-HALF-YEAR-OLD :
i) Should a child who is only two and a half years old be spanked?
ii) Are electronic gadgets like the Tablet, iPad and such be used by a child this young?
QUESTION:
Assalaamualaikum Puan.
I have a son who is two and a half years old. I have two questions:
1) My son is increasingly becoming more aggressive. For instance, he has started to give me the “flying kick” every now and then. What is the correct way of disciplining a child this young? What I do now is to spank his foot, although I must say I do it in quite a gentle way. The thing is, despite being told off each time, he still does it.
2) Are electronic gadgets like the Tablet or iPad suitable for him? ~ Mrs Z.
ANSWER:
Waalaikumsalaam wbkth.
DISCIPLINE
—————-
It is not advisable to spank a child who is only two and a half years old when he misbehaves. It is usually sufficient to simply raise your voice such that it sounds stern coupled with a frown to send him a clear message that what he or she is doing is not right. Please note that being “stern” is not equal to “shouting” or “yelling”. Be sure that you only use this particular voice when he misbehaves. State a simple statement e.g. “We are nice people. We don’t give others a flying kick, especially not to our parents.” State it firmly. Also notice that the word “Please” is absent. Kids from two above learn best from the consequences of their actions. Positive actions bring about positive consequences. Negative actions produce negative consequences. In this case, the negative consequence is a stern scolding.
Very young children like to copy whatever behaviour they see whether on screen or in real life. A child this young needs time to internalise a lesson on good behaviour. That is why REPETITION is key; you need to repeat the lesson again and again. Telling him off once is not enough. His cognitive ability is still developing. In general, a child can be expected to have good behaviour by age five.
USAGE OF TABLETS, IPAD & OTHER GADGETS
—————————————————————-
In general, for little children, “face-to-face time is better than screen time”. The younger the child is, the truer this applies. This is because, the environment within which they grow up plays a very strong influence on their character and personality. Electronic gadgets like the tablet and iPad can never replace the warm voice and touch that only a human being can provide.
If the parents do decide to expose a toddler to electronic gadgets, it should be done with strict supervision and discretion. It means that these gadgets shouldn’t be used as pacifiers. Rather, a responsible adult should be there to interact with the child and explain what’s displayed on screen.
Very young children who are so used to electronic gadgets may find it difficult to focus when they grow up because the speed at which images appear/disappear on screen is superfast, unlike normal human interaction. Their social intelligence and aptitude may also be affected if they are so accustomed to having these gadgets at all times as “escape routes” to avoid having to speak to others, especially in social settings.