At a recent youth workshop, I met a teenager who was partially blind in one eye. He woke up one morning, only to discover that he couldn’t see as usual. “Mum, I can’t see properly,” he told his mother, rubbing his eyes; his voice carried fear, uncertainty. His vision had become blurry overnight—50% gone. Doctors later confirmed that he needed surgery, but even with treatment, he would never regain his eyesight fully. How do you help a child to cope when life takes an unexpected, irreversible turn?
Acknowledge The Pain. Do Not Rush to “Fix” It
It’s tempting to comfort a child by saying, “Everything will be okay.” But no one knows what will happen tomorrow. We don’t know if things will go back to how they were. Stay calm, acknowledge the pain and fear, while expressing kind words of support. Example: “I know this is really hard for you. It’s okay to feel scared, sad, or frustrated. We’ll see what we can do, together.”
Shift the Focus: What They Can Do, Not Just What They Lost
After his surgery, the boy’s mother could have focused on what he could no longer do. Instead, she helped him adjust by encouraging him to find new ways to navigate his life. When children face challenges —whether physical, emotional, or situational—help them discover new strengths. A child who can no longer play sports may discover a love for storytelling, art, or public speaking. A child who loses a loved one can find comfort in writing or art to express their grief. Instead of focusing on “why did this happen?”, encourage them to ask, “What can I do next with what I still have?”
Introduce Role Models Who Overcame Hardships
Children find hope in stories. Share real-life examples of people who turned their struggles into strength. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) lost his parents young but became a leader who transformed the world. Knowing that others have faced immense challenges and still thrived can inspire children to see that their journey is not over.
Help Them Express Their Emotions in a Healthy Way
When children experience a major life change, they need an outlet for their emotions. Encourage journaling to put feelings into words. Or art as a creative form of expression. Talking to trusted adults or mentors can make them feel heard and supported. Physical activity, such as walking or stretching, may reduce tension.
Strengthen Their Faith & Sense of Purpose
Remind children that “Allah never burdens a soul beyond what it can bear.” (Al-Qur’an 2:286). Difficult moments are not punishments; they are opportunities for growth. Even the strongest people face hardships. It’s how we respond that matters. Faith helps children see their struggles as part of a greater plan, not just random misfortune.
Teach Them That Strength Comes from Taking Small Steps
Moving forward after a setback is not about giant leaps, but small, consistent steps. Encourage them to find one thing they can do today, even if it’s just getting out of bed with purpose. Set small goals and celebrate tiny victories. Understand that progress isn’t always a straight line, and setbacks are part of growth.
A New Perspective on Life
The boy’s journey was not easy. Adjusting to a new reality took time. But with his parents’ support and understanding from the siblings, he learned to navigate life in a different way. Though he lost part of his sight, he gained a new perspective—one that allowed him to appreciate life in ways he never had before.
Difficult moments are inevitable in life. Perhaps it’s a sudden illness, the loss of a loved one, or a shattered dream; children need guidance to navigate pain and change. As parents, we may not be able to fix everything, but we can help them find hope and strength amidst their struggles. Some losses may feel unbearable. But if children know that life is about taking small steps forward, they will not only survive hardships, but emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient.
Featured image by Hainguyen1982
