What is it like to grow up in a non-Muslim country? Sis Umairah Joffri, who migrated to Australia almost a decade ago with her family, shares her personal experiences with Jamilah Samian.
Jamilah : Tell us about yourself, your country of origin, where you’re residing now, your interests, educational and professional background.
Umairah : My name is Nur Umairah Joffri, I am the eldest child of 4 siblings. I have a sister who is 20 years old and two brothers age 17 and 14 respectively. We are of Indo-Javanese background and migrated almost 9 years ago.
I am very passionate about helping others hence I have a strong passion in volunteerism as I desire the ummah to excel in knowledge and action and benefit the community wherever they are.
Now I am an active member of an Islamic NGO in Australia, Alhamdulillah. Very blessed to be part of a team of visionary Muslims who aspire the best for the Ummah. I am currently studying Bachelor of Biomedicine at The University of Melbourne majoring in Human structure and function and also studying Diploma in Modern Languages (Arabic) along with my degree.
Jamilah : What do you think are the issues that plague Muslim youths today?
Umairah : Identity crisis, being afraid to expose their identity as Muslims and confused about what is right and what is wrong, what is culture and what is religion. Media isn’t getting any better to help them understand. In some families they are very attached to cultural practices that contradict the religion. In addition to that, children are not allowed to question or ask for clarification due to the barrier between them.
No doubt that I’m still struggling with my own identity. I’m not very comfortable identifying myself based on my nationality because wherever I go, I will feel isolated and sometimes unwanted. I don’t feel welcome. But if I identify myself as a Muslim, wherever I go, I will meet my fellow brothers and sisters and they will welcome me with an open hand. There’s no national barrier between us despite coming from a different background. That’s when I feel the true sisterhood and brotherhood. It’s stronger than the ties of kinship. And wherever you go, you feel the sense of belonging because you are living on the earth which belongs to the One Creator.
A teacher of mine once said: “The journey is more important than the destination. Keep walking, leave the rest to Allah.”
Jamilah : How can Muslim youths contribute better to the world?
Umairah : Personally, it is vital for every youth to be involved in volunteerism to benefit the community with their fresh ideas, energy, enthusiasm. At the same time seeking authentic knowledge and try as much as they can to put them into actions. Of course, I am also struggling with this but I think it is also important for parents to support and encourage their involvement with the community. It really helps to discover our identity and our passion. Youths are more committed to do things, which they are passionate about. Helping others who are less fortunate, being exposed to the world gives them a chance to experience and prepare them for the challenges ahead. This is where you will get good company too as they define who you are.
Jamilah : It’s so common to see Muslim youths not practising Islam these days despite their parents trying to teach them otherwise. Your thoughts. Perhaps you can share with us what your parents did right here, if any.
Umairah : Yes, it breaks my heart to see my Muslim sisters taking off their scarves because they don’t understand why they have to cover. And my Muslim brothers changing their names from Muhammad to Moe. They do whatever it takes to avoid being recognized as Muslims just to blend into the society. It even breaks my heart even more seeing some of my friends from Islamic school who are clearly Muslims deviating away from Islam, abandoning their prayers, being in haram relationships until I could not bear seeing it anymore.
It is disheartening for me to see my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters committing disgraceful actions that normal western youths will be doing. I am gob-smacked by a person whom I met recently, apparently an ex-Muslim and having different ladies sleeping in his room every two weeks. I was left sleepless for a few nights [wondering what went wrong, how that could have happened]. I felt sad for not being able to do anything.
Alhamdulillah I am blessed with very patient parents. Although my parents are not educated, others would think they are the best parents in the world. (I am biased J) They nurture and educate us with love, discipline and wisdom. Not with punishment. Not with nagging and screaming. They are firm but loving. Once signal is given, we understood it right away. I remembered my friends were asking me if my parents are strict. I don’t remember them being so strict on us. I think I am stricter on my siblings than they are but the important thing is that, they are truly supportive parents. On my side, I need to honour their trust. It took me a while to convince them when I first joined this organisation. Then I gradually enticed them to the Islamic conferences and courses. I thank Allah for softening my family’s hearts and for blessing me with very supportive and understanding parents.
Jamilah : What is your definition / description of a committed Muslim youth? What can Muslim parents do to raise committed Muslim youths? What should they avoid?
Umairah : A committed Muslim youth is someone who utilizes and maximizes their potential to assist others in achieving the ultimate purpose of life, which is to seek the pleasure of Allah through worship. Every effort, every second, every cent spent is an act of worship, as an investment for the Hereafter. Waking up every morning, asking: “Oh Allah, use me to serve You, to serve Your Deen.”
Early exposure to Islamic and community events which allows them to build their self-confidence and esteem, broaden up their spectrums about colours of life, develop empathy and care for others. Most importantly develop their character which will be beneficial to them later in life inshaaAllah. When we know more people and treat them kindly regardless, they will make duaa for you and you will never know whose duaa will be accepted.
Avoid assumptions that will break each other’s trust. Never ever swear at your children as those words will be imprinted in them forever, which may result in hatred, and low self-esteem.
Jamilah : Have you always been interested in Islam, or was there a turning point in your life when you decided to take a deeper interest in Islam? If so, what and when was it?
Umairah : At an early stage, I was learning Islam because I was in an Islamic school and was kind of ‘forced’ to study it anyway. I was unable to internalize what I have learnt. I was just learning to excel in the exams. Islam was just a routine and nothing more. Sometimes I felt Islam is too restrictive; this is Haram, that is Haram. Everything is Haram. We never mention the Halal things. Although I was within a Muslim environment, they were not as practicing. Therefore, when they do things, which are not acceptable in Islam, it seems normal and ‘ok’ because everyone does it. Being an adolescent, 12-13 years of age, I was tempted to imitate them. However, Allah saved me from being deviated when my family decided to migrate to Australia. It wasn’t easy at first to accept. Everyone at school was shocked. I was called to my principal’s office and he was worried that I will be influenced by western culture and abandon the religion as some of his acquaintances did.
I struggled the first few months at school. I had a culture shock. It was a school of a certain nationality. My siblings and I were the first Asians in the school. Almost everyone was loud and rude to the teachers. They had fights even between the girls to the extent that police was involved. I was bullied as school for being too timid. I couldn’t focus in class because everyone was noisy and teachers were struggling to control the class. I became so stressed and depressed but Alhamdulillah, I had everyone’s support especially my parents.
When I arrived in Melbourne, I wasn’t as active as I was back home. I was restricted due to lack of public transport in the area I was residing. We were living with my aunt’s family. I was searching for something but I wasn’t sure what it was. Now I realized, I was searching for my identity. My journey then began.
I attended a certain course entitled “Mark of the Jurist” with my aunt. It was mind blowing although I was struggling to understand the terminologies. Then I started to internalize what I have learnt back then. Meeting sisters from different nationalities and background opened up my heart and mind to the true teachings of Islam. I discovered that Islam is not just praying five times a day, fasting, zakah, Hajj but Islam is in your everyday life. Going to school is Islamic when you intend it for Allah, Eating is Islamic when you say Bismillah and eat with your right hand.
I used to hate History and Seerah because of the intrinsic details that you need to memorize. But now I am looking forward to every Seerah course because we need to learn from history so that we don’t repeat the same mistakes. There is so much to learn from the Seerah of the Prophet (peace be upon him), not just the facts. History was made practical for me. From that day, I took every means to attend every course even though I had to travel more than an hour in a cold morning by myself to the city. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. In a western country, I have learnt more about my religion, more importantly knowing the difference between culture and religion. What is permissible and what is not. What are the authentic references and so on.
Jamilah : Name the people who influenced you greatly and inspired you in your growing up years.
Umairah: They are:
1- Rasulullah (peace be upon him): How he had suffered the loss of his beloved ones, from his father and mother to his wife, sons and daughters, having to bury them with his hands. Yet he was patient and persevered in order to relay the message that reached us today. We can extract lessons and life skills from every aspect of his life in terms of actions, words, even simple act of kindness such as smiling which doesn’t cost us anything.
2- My parents: I never realized how much I appreciate them and learn from them until I was facing extreme difficulties and they supported me all along in these times of ease and difficulties
3- The volunteers I work with: A group of extraordinary people who excel in their dunya and inshaaAllah Akhirah. They are the most amazing people I have ever met in my life.
Jamilah : What do you think is the real value for youths to practice Islam? What are they missing if they don’t?
Umairah : I have seen myself those who deviated away from the religion despite growing up within a religious family. I sometimes wonder why it happened but perhaps the methodology and how Islam is being represented to them makes them run away from Islam. They focused on all of the Haram and the punishments but never spoke about the Halals and the mercy of Allah or the beauty of Islam.
On the other hand, I have seen those who I never ever thought to change, became practicing in the Deen. Subhanallah. It teaches me never ever to underestimate and look down upon anyone because the hidaya of Allah can be upon anyone. InshaaAllah, if you surround yourself with friends who are close to Allah, they will bring you towards goodness and constantly remind you of Him.
Jamilah : We are now in the blessed month of Ramadan. Any thoughts?
Umairah : Alhamdulillah here in Australia, we are only fasting for 11-12 hours per day which is much lesser due to winter. However, I find it very challenging as time goes very quickly. It is a test for productivity and time management. Our days are very short and our nights are long. Prayer times are very close together. Although I may not be the best person to speak about time management, I can share a few things that I have been doing during Ramadhan.
1. Block in your Fard Prayers by Praying on Time
– Subhanallah, this will add barakah in your day. There are times when I have to delay my prayers but if I delayed them, everything else that I do will be disorganized.
2- If you are adopting a new habit, set an alarm.
– Say you want to start praying Salat Ad-dhuha, set your alarm as we humans are forgetful. Setting an alarm helps.
3- Wet your tongue with Azdhkaar [dhikr / remembrance of Allah] at all times, when working, driving, walking etc.
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