One of the earliest lessons every new parent learns is, children don’t have “time” on their to-do list. That meeting of yours, recorded on your iPhone, is none of their business. To little babies and young children, time doesn’t exist. All they want is sleep, wake up, feed, someone cuddly to play with, washed and cleaned whenever they need to, and back to sleep again. End of story.
If this is already a big deal for parents who are not used to waking up several times a night, imagine the amount of adjusting that a working parent has to do. Here are some tips for working parents with infants:
1. Allow more contingency time. What this means is, if you could get ready in a flash prior to having a baby, top up that time with changing diapers at the last minute (five minutes), feeding (ten to fifteen minutes) and, perhaps, changing yourself for a second time (if baby throws up on that smart jacket of yours). Obviously, this might mean cutting down on the number of appointments you may have in a day.
2. DeStress. This is big! If you are used to being all worked up the moment your meeting is delayed for twenty seconds, RELAX. Believe me, you do not have an option other than learn to live with better physiological responses. Unless you want your body to have a negative buildup of cortisol, so fast, so young, accept that life as a parent is a new world on its own.
3. Focus on priorities. That’s you, baby, and your spouse. If people don’t like the way you live, too bad. If your house must be arranged in a certain way to make it work, so be it. If dinner is take-away every night, fine. If you must sleep-in every Monday morning, that’s the way it is.
4. No need to become over apologetic. In spite of all you do, you might still turn up a bit late for your appointment. Yes, it is proper to apologise, but don’t overdo it. Being a parent doesn’t require you to give up your dignity.
5. Realise it’s temporary. Your whining six-month-old won’t be forever. When the time comes for you to empathise with other young parents, you will act smarter and kinder, unlike some arrogant person who thinks children are a pest. They conveniently forgot they were once babies who were the very reason for their own parents’ lateness for some other meeting.
The best gift you could possibly present to your cute little junior is time. It could mean holding his hand as he tries to stand up for that first step. Perhaps it is giving her a bath when she’s all sticky. Or maybe you need to just be there to caress and reassure him when he isn’t feeling too good. Love, to children, means “time”. You might need to balance your need to be “on time” and fulfilling your little one’s hunger for “your time”. ~ Jamilah Samian
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