It started with a teacup.
Aisha, a mother of four, stood in the kitchen one afternoon, clutching a chipped mug of lukewarm tea. The house was loud. Someone was crying, someone was yelling, the baby was chewing on a crayon. And Aisha? She felt like crying too.
She hadn’t eaten properly. She hadn’t slept well. She hadn’t had a quiet moment to herself in weeks. That day, she raised her voice more than she wanted to, slammed a door she wished she hadn’t, and ended the night overwhelmed with guilt.
“I love my kids,” she told a friend later, “but I don’t love who I’m becoming.”
That conversation was a turning point. Aisha began setting aside small pockets of time for herself: a 10-minute prayer alone, a short evening walk, or a few pages of journaling. Over time, something shifted. She became less reactive, more present, and more emotionally available. Not perfect, but stronger.
What changed? Her level of resilience. And it started with self-care.
What Is Parental Resilience?
Parental resilience is the ability to manage stress and bounce back from challenges while continuing to parent effectively. One of the key foundations of resilience in parenting is self-care. Not as a luxury, but as a necessity.
Here’s how self-care and parental resilience are closely linked, with examples that bring each point to life:
Self-Care Refuels Your Emotional Tank
Parenting demands emotional availability: listening, empathizing, guiding. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking time to rest, reflect, or enjoy simple pleasures helps regulate your emotions. This strengthens your capacity to respond calmly rather than react impulsively when parenting gets tough.
Story:
Azlan, father of two boys, used to find himself yelling by dinner time. The stress of work followed him home, and he felt like he had nothing left to give. He began waking up 15 minutes earlier to sit quietly, recite dhikr (remembrance of God), and sip his coffee in peace. That small ritual became his anchor. “I don’t snap as quickly anymore,” he said. “Those 15 minutes make me a better dad for rest of the day.”
Self-Care Builds Stress Tolerance
When you’re physically, mentally, and emotionally depleted, even minor inconveniences can feel like crises. Regular self-care practices e.g. adequate sleep, nutritious food, physical activity, and supportive friendships help keep stress levels manageable.
Story:
Lina, a single mum, started walking around her apartment block every evening after putting the kids to bed. She also committed to drinking more water and limiting caffeine. Within weeks, she noticed her headaches reduced, and she handled morning chaos with more patience. “It’s not about perfection,” she said. “It’s about not exploding when the cereal spills.”
Self-Care Models Healthy Habits For Children
Parents who show that taking care of themselves matters teach their children the same by example. Your children observe and pick up emotional literacy, boundaries, and the importance of balance.
Story:
Hafiz used to think he had to be “strong” all the time. But one day, after a long and stressful day, he told his teenage daughter, “I need 10 minutes to myself before I can have this conversation properly.” She blinked, nodded, and waited. The next week, when she had a rough day at school, she said, “I’m going to my room for a bit to cool off first.” Self-care had quietly become a family habit.
Self-Care Protects Against Burnout
Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Days and nights without breaks, rest, or moments of joy will only bring in exhaustion and with it, resentment and guilt.
Story:
Nurul, a stay-at-home mother of a child with special needs, began keeping a gratitude journal after hearing about it in a parenting class. Every night, she wrote three things she was thankful for, even on the hardest days. “Some nights, all I wrote was, ‘I made it through the day.’ But it helped. I remembered my why. I could parent from purpose, not just pressure.”
Self-Care Creates A Buffer For Life’s Tough Moments
No one can control life’s surprises: job loss, illness, conflict. But self-care builds the internal strength to ride those storms more steadily.
Story:
When Jamil’s wife was diagnosed with cancer, their entire world flipped. He still had to care for their two children. What helped him stay grounded? A habit he had built months earlier: morning supplication and evening walks with a neighbour. Those routines became his lifeline, giving him the emotional stamina to care for his family during one of the hardest periods of their lives.
Conclusion: The Case For Taking Care Of You
Self-care isn’t about bubble baths or expensive retreats. It’s about consistently making space for the small things that help you feel like you. Whether it’s five minutes of silence, a phone call with a friend, or reading something that nourishes your soul, self-care helps you face parenting with strength, not strain. Self-care is not selfish. It allows you to show up as the parent your child needs, even when you’re tired, even when life gets messy, even when you’re unsure.
Think of resilience as a muscle. Every time you choose rest over rushing, reflection over reactivity, presence over pressure, you’re strengthening that muscle. And over time, that makes all the difference.
Your children don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be present. And for that, you need to be well.
So go ahead. Drink that cup of tea. Take that walk. Breathe. Reconnect with your why. Because when you take care of yourself, you’re not stepping away from your role as a parent. You’re stepping deeper into it with better renewed intention, strength and wisdom.
Featured photo by marcisim
